Winning at a Losing Battle

There’s nothing easy for me about losing weight. Although my activity level increased exponentially beginning in March 2016, it’s still all about the food for me.

I love food. I love planning feasts, cooking for guests and dining out. I can’t think of a cheese in any form that it’s easy for me to turn down.  I’m embarrassed to say I even love the taste of junk food cheese. Once, a friend told me he used to put cheese-in-a-can on Doritos in amounts so copious that the Dorito had to be supported and not just pinched between his fingers so it wouldn’t snap. It sounded like the most delicious thing I had ever heard in my life.

You get the picture.  I love fat and carbs and protein. I loved them all the way up over 300 lbs.  Weight loss in the past has always involved eliminating whatever food group was currently playing the role of the villain in my tragic quest for fitness.

This time it’s different. I can have whatever I want. Not in the “now I don’t want anything but clean food” way that makes me roll my eyes.  It wasn’t an epiphany, there was a slow evolution to a completely different way of thinking and I’m very happy on this side of the fence.

I still have around 50 lbs to shed. When that’s accomplished, you know how I will eat? Exactly as I have for the last 10 months. 95% clean and 5% decadent. If I’ve got dinner plans somewhere outside my home, I will plan in advance that I’m probably going to have 1500 calories there, and my earlier meals in the day will be light and clean. When I’m on vacation, I decide which meals to “splurge” on. But now a splurge isn’t an all-you-can-eat buffet. A spluge might be a crusty, chewy piece of sourdough bread slathered with butter because I’m in San Francisco.  But it won’t be 3 pieces “because I already blew it”.

I feel like I found the Holy Grail. I can eat delicious foods and treat myself on a regular basis while still losing weight. My sleep is sounder, my mind is sharper, my work is better. I have had zero negative results from this change.

During 2017, I will be featuring many other women who have lost weight successfully on this page. I hope to inspire you and help you learn you can do it too.

For now, I’m going to go eat something delicious.



2 thoughts

  1. I happen to found your story in the Crossfit JOurnal and it is so inspiring; amazing job! I am on a weight lost journal currently, not as much as yours, but still 20 pounds overweight for my petite 5’2 frame after giving birth 9 months ago. I never struggle with having to lose that much weight but here I am working really hard to finally be back to a healthier weight. I have been doing crossfit for 4 years now and continued through my pregnancy but my eating wasnt all that great, I will eat paleo but during the weekend I will eat no clean food more that I should’ve. I am now in a 1:1 with a coach and RP still doing crossfit and running, havent seen much of weight off but my body composition is changing my performance has improved tremendously. Thank you for taking the time to share your journey and for helping others to become a healthier version of themselves.

    1. Just keep moving forward. With a relatively small amount to lose, it’s going to be slow and the body comp is a HUGE part of it!

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