Progress feels like perfection!

It’s far too early in the process to declare victory, but in the last 4 months, I have accomplished something I didn’t think was possible. I’ve been eating clean, whole foods in moderate amounts. I’ve kept up on my Crossfit classes 4-5 days per week. Since 3/10/16, I have lost 34lbs.
Granted, it’s the same 30 lbs I have lost over and over again over the last decade. This weight seems to have been my low point at least 6 times in the last 10 years. But something is different this time. I’m not counting down until I’m “finished” with this diet. I know this is how I have to eat forever, with few exceptions. My body seems to respond best to a diet consisting of 30-40% protein, 50-60% fat and 10-15% carbs. I go higher on the carbs occasionally if I’m craving fruit, but over the last 120 days, those are my average macros.
It’s been an adjustment to be honest with myself about the amount of calories I was actually eating. I know I’ve mentioned before that my goal was to be in good enough shape that I could eat whatever I wanted. I know now that’s just not possible. I may be able to enjoy the occasion splurge, but that’s about it.
When I did low calorie and high activity and lost 90 lbs in 2001, it was in a way that wasn’t sustainable. I ate teeny tiny portions to keep my calories between 600 and 1200 per day, but I wasn’t making nutritionally dense choices. I was hungry all the time and that made it something I was waiting to finish.
Same with the HCG, the juice fast and dozens of other plans I’ve had success with. Brief success, I should say. With all those plans, I’d lose 20-30 lbs the first month. Eeek out a few more pounds the next month or so and then stall out. The plans actually quit working. Tomorrow, I will have been doing this for a long as I juice fasted in 2011. Granted, I’ve only lost ½ the weight, but the loss is actually accelerating as I go, rather than slowing.

I feel fantastic. Hugh and I went on a 10 day road trip and I didn’t have a hard time foods at restaurants that allowed me to stay under my calorie goal. My memories of that trip are laced with regret over all the things I couldn’t have. I enjoyed so many of my favorite foods and drinks in true moderation.

I’ve also started moving on a more regular basis.  Fitbit keeps track of how many steps you get every hour. The minimum to earn a thumbs up is 250. It takes me about 2 1/2 minutes to do that. I have increased that to the point where I shoot for at least 1000 every hour. I find that my time AT my desk, the other 45-50 minutes per hour, is far more productive than if I had remained seated. I’m hoping in a few months, I will be jogging those steps instead of walking.

Two of my sisters and I started a little group text of accountability about a month ago. We made a pact to send each other a photo of any meal we are going to eat. It doesn’t matter if its healthy or not. We just are accountable for our choices. These plates are a few of mine from the last couple weeks.

Today, I decided to start blogging again. You may notice the majority of the old content isn’t visible. As I was reading through it, I saw so much desperation, negative self talk and imbalance. I still have those posts, but I don’t want anyone to make the unreasonable choices I have in the past.

Over the next week, I will be talking about some of the valuable tools I have come to depend on for this process. I will share some of my meal successes and failures.   For now, TGIF!

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